Whacky Ambiant Energy +The State of Abandon
Where things are at…
I’ve got a website, social media accounts, and no product!
No photos of products, no materials for products, no sound plan for products.
So, basically, side-steppin’. All of it on a wing and a prayer.
When you own something that doesn’t produce any income, it’s considered a liability – not an asset. If it costs money to maintain. This website is costing a little, but I’m focusing purely on potential.
I deactivated all the SEO, analytical plugins for this site this morning. Was triggering my OCD. Was just an entire sidebar of red warning icons. Too many ‘passive’ words, not enough ‘power’ words, not enough keywords, not enough ‘uncommon’ words, not enough ’emotional’ words. Lord, Jesus. Paragraphs too long, and grades for ‘word balance’, and descriptive title.
This title actually got 73/100. Two thumbs up!
I had to temporarily reactivate the plugins because I couldn’t remember all the bullshit they list.
But, my meta description length is too long, my content length is “far below minimum”, and I have no internal or external links (for validation). Oh, and not enough ‘transition’ words. 26.3% which “is not enough”. Fucking hell! This is the type of stuff I don’t have time for.
So………….furthermore, and moreover, and henceforth – I indeed, actually have no concern for this type of nonsense!
Can this website succeed without bowing to algorithm and analytic AI gods??
We’ll see.
Getting back to the meat of the matter…
I’m broke as a joke. I don’t like saying that out loud or putting it down in writing cuz I’m funny about the power of words.
And, maybe a tad too superstitious.
I recently had to move bcuz of it (being broke) – and me and my son have moved in with a friend. I’m taking care of her 90-year-old, incapacitated mother in exchange for our room and board. On top of that, I can’t drive my car. It has some sort of exhaust leak and can’t pass inspection. I plan to try a patch job – pray for success. That’s two or three things out of an easy hundred.
Most of work-stuff is still in a shed at the old place. Can’t move it, cuz I don’t have the car. I brought my knitting stuff, sewing machine, and some odds and ends with me. Oh, and my ipad pro stopped working as well. I was making some money doing graphics up until then. That’s when everything fell off the rails. Everything has sorta imploded on top of me this year.
I really don’t feel like bitching about it. That’s not my thing. I know how I got here (kinda), and I (kinda) know what it’s gonna take to get myself out. I just tend to…
1) Not factor in all the little bullshit that gets in the way
2) My level of energy most days
3) How long shit actually ends up taking (due to 1 + 2)
Is that everyone or just me?
Something I feel very strongly about is that humans have a gross lack of foresight. That’s weird, cuz there also seems to be a lack of presence. Like, we drag around the past, and project ourselves into this nice, pleasant future – but it’s sheltered – like with blinders. In the moment, we get twisted up in all sorts of drama, pettiness, and distractions. Kinda rudderless/aimless. IDK
Maybe it’s just me?
Spinning Out
I’m always hopelessly optimistic. Is that the right term? Doesn’t sound right. Hopefully? Anyway, just optimistic in general. Most (realistic) people would call that stupid. That I should be freaking the fuck out! That’s one thing I definitely cannot afford to do!!
What’s the saying?
I’ve done so much for so long with so little that now I can do anything with nothing. That’s me.
Now, we get to see how truly resourceful I am. What kind of art I can make with what I can find. That’ll be the fun part. Honestly, it will be really nice to craft again. It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten lost in that sorta work. The hard part will be seeing if it sells.
The work it’ll take to market my wares. The competition!
Depth Of Field
I’m struggling a lot with this thing of 3D and 5D.
Like, when I don’t feel well, I immediately sink into this 3D state – where it’s diet, activity/exercise, detox, and so on. I have to work to get my mind out of that place, and know, that the physical state of all things (3D) is the product of our mental/emotional state (4D). That we’re capable of instantaneously shifting our 3D reality by adjusting our DOF in 4D. It’s why we rely so heavily on what we think + feel, cuz it manifests our reality. Except………………………..we lack faith in it. We take it all in as 3D, which means “me against the world”, “us v. them”, and so on. All the external forces we believe we are up against, and we hunker down into that, and try to find some safety and comfort (from that survival mentality). It’s extremely detrimental to our wellbeing.
So, this is external shit is everything that’s not me + my life + my work. 3D would say it’s gonna be a tough row to hoe, a long gap to bridge, and so on. But, 5D knows, that if I disregard the 3D shit and align myself in the flow of abundance = my position shifts to match my vibe/frequency. Does that make sense?
Is anyone reading this?? Can anyone relate?
At the moment, I’m going thru a bit of an existential crisis.
I’m so used to struggling that it’s become my norm, right? My default mode. So, if I don’t make the effort to see past it, shift out of it – it’s not gonna change. No matter how much I try, no matter how great my work is, no matter how much I post on social media.
The disconnect isn’t external.
I’m very naive like that. Or, is it overconfidence?
Creating decent art is easy for me. It doesn’t take a lot to go from concept to finished piece. I mean, it takes physical work, but not mental effort. Most of the time (if we get out of the way) a piece just develops on its own. I see it, I create it, and it’s this tangible thing, and then I’m supposed to list it, and people come and buy it. That’s the part I struggle with. I guess the time it takes for that last part to happen. The point where all the doubt creeps in – and I wonder if it’s all for naught.
Just keep swimming – Just keep swimming – Just keep swimming